@Barebower \u00a9 2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Happy hour was buzzing
as he drove her through the gate.
The \u2018van park pool was five rows deep
and Clancy was running late.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe \u2018cruiser was a heaving
from the arid outback tow.
The air-conditioner struggling
from the lack of any flow.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nNow, Clancy wasn\u2019t new to this.
He\u2019d done his share of tows.
But something in the air this day
foretold a tale of woe.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe corellas all were screeching
as his wife got in the car.
\u201cReception wasn\u2019t happy\u201d,
she said to his alarm.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cThere\u2019s no more bloody drive-throughs\u201d,
as they fought to keep their calm.
\u201cThey\u2019ve put us down on fifty-three\u201d,
She muttered in alarm.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe pool folk\u2019s eyes were opened wide
as Clancy eased her in.
The boom gate code was fumbled
as he cleared and tried again.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe pool folk turned to watch them,
as he drove the \u2018van park track.
Fifty-three was waiting,
for their imminent attack.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nHis wife turned on her handset,
As he swung the van around.
\u201cYou\u2019re on the wrong bloody channel!\u201d,
He shouted at the ground.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe big van\u2019s springs were creaking,
As he threw her in reverse.
\u201cYour stupid bloody hand-brakes on!\u201d,
She threw him like a curse.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nWith hand-brake off he began to move,
The pool folk held their breath.
\u201cLeft hand down, LEFT HAND DOWN!\u201d,
Her voice was cold as death.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nNow fifty-three was a little tight,
and wasn\u2019t all that flat.
It had a mighty drop-off,
and trees both sides at that.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nClancy wasn\u2019t overwhelmed,
he\u2019d done this all before.
His wife was all a tremble,
as her fear came to the fore.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cI\u2019m on full lock you silly moo!\u201d
\u201cI can\u2019t turn anymore.\u201d
She held her tongue and held her breath,
He hadn\u2019t closed the door.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cYou need to stop! You\u2019ll break the door!\u201d
She screamed into the mike.
\u201cWill you shut up! I\u2019m on the edge!\u201d
He threw back at his wife.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe van went left, the van went right.
The pool folk all inhaled.
The car began to shudder.
The pool folk sipped their ales.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe mighty van was scraping
on the left and on the right.
The trees were scratched and bleeding
as the drop-off came in sight.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cYou need to stop! YOU NEED TO STOP!\u201d,
She waved her hands around.
The \u2018cruiser\u2019s brakes were straining
on the rough, uneven ground.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nBy now the pool was filling up,
and bets were being laid.
As Clancy swung the van around
and backed into the shade.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe drop-off reared up thick and fast.
The wheels were getting closer.
As fifty-three began to show
it\u2019s nasty side below her.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cSTOP\u2026 STOP\u2026 STOP!!!\u201d, she yelled again
as Clancy stayed his course.
The big van lurched and began to buck
like an angry rodeo horse.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cI\u2019m tryin\u2019 to stop!\u201d, he shouted back.
\u201cThe brakes are barely holding!\u201d
\u201cChock it quick!\u201d, he yelled some more.
By now she wasn\u2019t listening.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cGet \u2018em in!\u201d, he yelled and screamed.
The van\u2019s suspension groaning.
\u201cI can\u2019t!\u201d, she said \u201cIt\u2019s too far gone!\u201d
The cruiser\u2019s brakes were moaning.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nMore bets were laid, the pool folk cheered.
Advice was in the offering.
Clancy pulled with all his might\u2026
The van was teeter-totting.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nFifty-three would have it\u2019s way.
The van was going over.
With one last gasp his wife screamed out,
\u201cGet out and hit the clover!\u201d<\/pre>\n\n\n\nClancy knew he wasn\u2019t beat...
Through gritted teeth he set his jaw and threw it into low..
He planted his foot and gripped the wheel
and revved as high as she\u2019d go.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe van went south, the cruiser north
and there ensued the struggle.
The pool folk sank another beer
and the caretakers joined the huddle.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe brake-safe snapped, the chains still held,
the cables all a tangle.
His wife peered out and had a look,
\u201cYou\u2019re still on a bloody angle!\u201d<\/pre>\n\n\n\nClancy couldn\u2019t admit defeat
and threw a sideways sneer.
The pool folk gasped and looked away
from Clancy\u2019s poisonous stare.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cI\u2019ll get you straight and line you up!\u201d
\u201cYou mother effing prick!\u201d
As Clancy slowly centred himself
and lightly grabbed the stick.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThe wheel was damp, the seat was wet,
The engine running hot.
The chains were all but holding
As he gave it one last shot.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nFifty-three was holding on,
the van was barely hitched.
As Clancy gunned her one last time
to avoid the dreaded ditch.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nNow somewhere in this sunburnt land
the campers all have fun.
The kiddies play, the kooka\u2019s laugh
and there\u2019s peace beneath the sun.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nBut not on van site fifty-three.
The pool folk are not cheering.
For Clancy, mighty Clancy,
Had finally lost his steering.<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It’s a hot, dry day in Adelaide River (NT) so I decided to sit in the shade and try my hand at some bush poetry…
\nDedicated to all the Grey Nomads travelling around Australia.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3048,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[137,28,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-big-trip-august-2022","category-robs-cave","category-the-grand-tour"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Rob Maguire","author_link":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/author\/rob\/"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash-300x187.jpg",300,187,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"large":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"wprm-metadata-1_1":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"wprm-metadata-4_3":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"wprm-metadata-16_9":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash-474x270.jpg",474,270,true],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false],"twentyfourteen-full-width":["https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/Van-Crash.jpg",474,296,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Rob Maguire","author_link":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/author\/rob\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"It's a hot, dry day in Adelaide River (NT) so I decided to sit in the shade and try my hand at some bush poetry... Dedicated to all the Grey Nomads travelling around Australia.","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3043"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3043\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjjc.net\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}